BIG is Beautiful!

November 15, 2009

BIG is Beautiful

Dear skinny, obese, thin, fat, small, tall, medium unidentified-reading-objects, please listen to this song and read this post…

Weeks ago as I was eating my breakfast (one diet cup of tea, one diet orange, one diet-nature-yogurt and one diet-mini-bowl of diet-organic-cereals with some drops of low-fat organic soya milk… yes my life is very exciting) and reading some news, some lines caught my attention: “Karl Lagerfeld doesn’t like fat women”.

Was I fooled by my eyes still paralysed by my last Botox injection? I’m afraid my vision was perfect. And here is a short summary of what I read : According to Karl (interviewed by the german magazine Focus), “nobody wants to see plump girls in fashion (…) There are fat old maids sitting in front of the television with their crisps’ pack saying that thin models are hideous. (…) The world of Haute Couture is a world of dream and illusion and must remain like this.”

Wow! I had a terrible headache trying to understand what the f*** had happened to Karl! Read the rest of this entry »

Mimikri makes me cry…

October 26, 2009

Mimikri makes me cry

Dear known or soon to be fashionista (or fashionist),

I was walking with a rl friend who sometimes meets me in sl for the simple pleasure to wear stilettos. In rl she’s indeed this kind of gorgeous creature, measuring 1,86m (six feets), wearing zero size, looking like a mix of Chanel Iman, Lara Stone and Tao Okamoto,  and always walking with flatshoes, pretending that with high heels she’d feel like a weird giant monster… Poor thing… You know, this kind of friend you always want to slap because you have never seen a monster -even a giant one- looking like a Vogue cover… Nevertheless if I was so tall I’d wear breathtaking heels and look at the world from above. Anyway…

We were gossiping at the Glamour expo just before it ends, yawning our pretty heads off, when she suddenly asserted : “You definitely can’t wear this without looking like a slut!”… We were in front of Mimikri, I firstly thought she was delirious, then thinking of all the Mimikri items of my inventory I realised I had always been thinking the same. But my point of view is more contrasted : Mimikri Kit’s creations compel me to confront my  personal fashion issues : I’m a fashionable borderline, and I’ve been developing a sadomasochistic relationship with some fashion designers (remember my post about Paper Couture)  and Mimikri Kit  is not an exception to this rule. Read the rest of this entry »

About men and us…

May 1, 2008

Which band of the eighties used to sing « It’s raining men! Alleluia!”?
I mean, I can tolerate a rain of men because it’s always usefull to wash the sidewalks of the dogs’ carelessness… But I would never thank God for such a shower! I’m not pretending I don’t like men. I love some of them, especially mine. But I’m SL bored to always be the center of macho attitude and silly remarks!
It seems 75% of men in the metaverse imagine being a sl woman is synonymous with being a whore or a sex addict: How many IM when you’re in a store to tell you that you are the eighth wonder of the world?… We all know what they really mean…
Here is a little dictionary to decode some sl men’s thoughts:

“Wow, you’re gorgeous”: if this sentence is not preceded by a greeting and an apology for disturbing you, then you have to understand: “Holly shit! I’d like to fuck you.”

“You illuminated my day” = “Are you available for the night?”

“Could you give me a favour?” = “I need a virtual blowjob”

“I love women with a strong character” = “Majority of women are weak”

“I love the way you’re dressed”: If you’re wearing a dress or an over the knees skirt, it means: “How much?”

“I don’t like lies or people pretending to be what they aren’t” = “Do you mind if we use a webcam?”

“I love your sense of fashion” = “I love good butt and boobs”

“I’m a very sensitive guy” = “I’m a damned f*cking liar!”‘

The day a man literally jumped on me and clung to my leg as if he was a dog, I realized it was even worse than in RL… I made some small experiences. I created a male shape, and I tried it several days… It was easy because Vyktor sounds like a male name as well… Believe me or not, but I had no problem at all! No vulgar words, no indecent proposals, no invitation for cyber sex sessions. Amazing isn’t it?

I remember the first time I went out in SL streets with the first non-newbie clothes I had bought (skirt from the Dress Satin Red by *Redgrave*, top of the White Horse outfit by Paper Couture, and Paper Couture’s stockings), my first “real” pair of shoes (Purple suede Funkies by Maitreya), my first high quality skin (it was the Vanessa skin by the Good Life at this time), my new hair (Lush by Cake), and the definitive shape I had created which were going to lead my virtual life to modelling … I was so proud to eventually be the way I wanted to be in front of every people. But maybe thirty minutes later, in a store, I got my first : “You’re sexy, you know that hun ?”…

Yes ladies, even in SL, it’s not so easy to be a respected woman, to wear skirts without being treated like a stripper… I’d like to propose you a girly game : during the next sl week, we could act like men do : accost a guy or several in the street, in stores, everywhere you want, use explicit words, and copy/paste his/their reactions in this blog, or simply share your experiences… Just to see if they like to be treated like simple objects of attraction…

Next time I’ll put on a male shape, I’ll dress it with a short skirt to see if the rules are the same…

Dear… Who by the way?… No matter.

*Posh Pride*’s statistics have just exploded after the publication of the last post “Paper Couture=No Future!”, that’s why Cayce and I simply decided to come out on strike.

What do you think readers?! You imagine only because you suddenly are thousands to read us we have to feel a kind of pressure?

No way: we’re too lazy and my brain almost dissolved by writing the PC post. I had to keep it in the fridge for a while, feeding it with the worse trashy sl newspapers, and moulding it again with my own hands before being able to use it. That’s why for this new post, I decided to return to the basics with a classical style’s description… But don’t worry: in French theatre we’re in used to say we must “leave the audience to a frustration’s feeling”… In a less fake intellectual way, we could call that a cliffhanger. As a consequence, just know if you’re frustrated enough by the three or five posts which will follow, you’ll be more surprised and pleased to realize later we have a lot of hot news and gossips in reserve…

But let’s speak about my today look. I’ll be short because I know you all think my posts are always too long, and it’s a real pain for “fashionistasses” to be focused during more than 87 words (age of Coco Chanel when she died. God bless this bitch!)… And I’m already beyond this limit!

I was invited by my worse enemy, Carla, to teach a teenagers’ group some tricks about fashion and rules of “savoir-vivre”. She begged me something like: “I know you’re french and intolerant but please don’t make bad jokes about their bad skins: they are in a spotty age, as you know…” Of course I did not precise I don’t: I never had such a problem: I was frozen by my parents from 13 to 21 years old. Thanks mum & dad… She also added: “Try to forget your *Posh Pride* tag for some hours: treat each one of them as an equal; speak to these kids as if you were level with them”…

Well well well… First of all, I wanted to make these young beings understand that seeing and listening to me was a precious present. Therefore I chose to wear several items with delicate ribbons and bows to personify a gift wrapping everybody would love to unwrap (diamond bow earrings, mirror wrapped by a ribbon for the necklace, bows on the sleeves…). Secondly, as I knew I would hardly enforce myself not to make any remark about their faces devastated by acne, I put on a polka dot skirt to express my compassion… And eventually as it would have just killed me to simply keep my posh mouth shut, I decided to wear the higher hair I could find in my inventory, just to let them know there will always be at least six degrees of separation between them and me the diva…

You’ll notice the colour and the shape of the crazy high bun (something between Marge Simpson and an atomic mushroom) perfectly remind the golden dots of the skirt, and so does the small round mirror of the necklace… Yes, details are a question of life and death.

“That’s all”. Oh no ! I need all the posh sl fashionable people to demonstrate so that our blog can be linked in Fashion World of SL !!! Thank for us which means for yourself as wel…

Hair: Ghost in pale brow by Coif

Skin: Naomie skin in gold by *REDGRAVE*

Top: Shirt from the Claire Black outfit by LBD

Skirt: Gold dot skirt by Creamshop

Socks: Over the knees socks by LicoLico

Shoes: Mary Geos in cream by Shiny Things

Earrings: Diamond bow earrings by Paper Couture

Necklace: Heirloom pendant by Paper Couture

Nails: Naked french nail gloves by Nevermore

Bag: The blossom bag in black by Paper Couture

What happened to the Lus?

This is the first question which will occur to a sane mind at the first sight of their new collection. The second will be: is it Carnival? And the third: Do they know the nobility was beheaded during the Révolution Française?

Another subsidiary question would be: How many times a week should I water my dresses so that they don’t fade too fast?

After some seconds of circumspection, I came to these both conclusions:

1- The famous sis’ have forgotten to take their pills for too long, and they just become more insane than they already were (if possible).

2- The famous sis’ just gave us a new proof of their iconoclastic talent.

By following the conclusion number 1, I’ll have to admit this spring 08 collection more than being almost unwearable simply can’t be worn. Too many flowers, too many ribbons, too many nets, too many pastel tons; too many puffy effects kills the puffy effects! Standing at Tableau’s store, I had the sensation to look at the shop window of a giant confectionery selling indecently calorific cakes made of chemical ingredients. “Where are the toilets, please?!”

Paper Couture = No Future, because playing with ancient codes and references the Lu sisters just forgot they were supposed to create fashion. They don’t make the trend anymore; they tried to recycle an out-of-date vogue but just created a conservative and ridiculous style far from actual fashion’s interests.

Who is the fashionista who will sacrifice her dignity to look like the fourth flower in the seventh row starting from the left in a bunch of other hysterical roses attending a show? Who is the model who will be lost enough to disguise herself as a fake Marie-Antoinette stripper combined with a Belle Époque girl next door?

A priori the answer is this fashionista doesn’t exist… But simply imagine you have a doubt, or worse: simply imagine you could be this girl!

Then you have to agree with the conclusion number 2!

The truth is, as a real fashion bitch, I could wear almost all the new PC creations. Are the Lus laughing at all the girls who will wear their crazy stuff only because they’re under PC brand? I sincerely don’t care! If they had created this new collection for this simple reason, this would be already the stamp of a humorous and sassy genius. But what could make of this collection a master piece of their work is this new line seems to tell us: Open your eyes! Fashion is a lie, Fashion does not exist, and Fashion has no time. It’s just a circle of repetitions, of recycling. What is out today was in yesterday ; what is in today will be out tomorrow before people have a new crush on it, led by some designers’ wills…

So yes, Paper Couture = No Future but like the Punks were as well: they break the line, take the trend against the current, and revisit some pictures from the past to update them using surprising combinations, shapes, or both. Each outfit presents this little or more obvious “touch” which makes it totally original, not standardized, different, in three words: totally Paper Couture.

It’s true most of the clothes are hardly wearable, but they enforce the silly brainless models we are to be creative as well: you can’t wear this new collection without a little bit of character. You need humour, you have to be self confident enough but with some distance on yourself too; you can’t be dressed in PC without a bit of attitude and/or self-derision. And if it’s not a fashion challenge, what is it?!

Of course, this conclusion number 2 can’t erase some terrible fashion faux-pas: “Dirt in my Palm”, “Broken Arm against Rock, caught in the Currents” and “Ricepaper Puff” are and will be forever examples of what you should wear if you plan to attend a tupperware meeting with fat-ugly-desperate-old housewives. “Spring Awakening” is a great alternative if you don’t have any rug and want your guests to wipe their feet when they enter your house. And “There are Dots in the Blood” is a good way to compete with the pityful clown hired by your best friend to animate her stupid girl’s birthday. But nobody’s perfect, and The Lus are far to be. Or if they are, this is only as the perfect reflection of a gorgeous lover: a Love/Hate relationship. The man I would love with no condition is the one I could slap and kiss right after. I think Paper Couture inspires me the same feelings…

On the right, the fabulous amazing pure beauty Cayce Newell is wearing the “Dancing Bears” outfit, or in other words, the “how to sweat under your fur when sun is high and swimwear is in the rule” outfit. (shoes : Carat 20 by Schmooz Shoes)

On the left, I’m myself wearing the “Romantic Soliloquy”, or if you prefer the “how to look like a noble whore waiting for the assault” outfit. (shoes : Chichi Pumps in cream by Maitreya)

Dear we don’t know exactly who,

Around ten days ago, we, your cherished fashionable mummies, attended the first EFA fusion show…SL is still SL, fashion shows are fashion shows, and designers (even great) are often the same, nothing to add about that : for trendy people attending a show is like drinking your daily cup of tea (a good earl grey from Mariages Frères if possible).

Anyway, the Posh Pride team was scandalized to note some people tried to take the lion’s share to attract attention in the crawling audience. We don’t speak about the brave models killed by lag (thanks to them we won several bets : who could have doubt indeed the gorgeous Anessa Stine would not have enough nerves to eventually reach the front of the catwalk ? tsk…). No : we speak of some sl avatars trying to shine with improbable look.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is hard to confess, but SL fashion shows are too often the places of good taste’s undermining and irresponsible rags’ showcase.

In this first posh post, you’ll learn there are things to wear and others not to even think of to attend a fashion show. Open your eyes if your brain just like ours is not well functioning.

Vyktor Maertens for *Posh Pride

******

I truly believe there are things that should be kept hidden, closed in a drawer, covered by old blankets in a cellar. Be it blinging freebies or Kylie Minogue’s H&M collection… or parts of the body, as well. Even during those sweet and hot slex sessions with your “hunny”, a glamorous pair of fashionable panties is much better than showing your partner (and probably your neighbours – we all know SL is a stalker paradise) your cute butt. And if your butt is not that cute, little, young and model one, a nunnery is the place for you – not a fashion show audience.

Despite my strong belief, not everybody agree with me and the EFA First Fusion has been the right time to discover it. After bumping me, a girl stood in front of me in a cowboy themed outfit, with her butt clearly visible through her pants. Of course, a tip toe pose and some bling here and there were part of the package.

The cowboy style is an “evergreen”, but you must be careful because the border between “classic”, “cliché” and “just plain bad taste” is very thin: if it’s not a Valentino’s, you’d better give up and wear something else. This girl could have looked eccentric or at least decent, but thanks to all these wrong choices, she just looked trashy and off topic.

How could you turn your not-so-brilliant idea of a cowgirl style into a good outfit not to be ashamed of? Take off your pants and move them to the trash folder of your inventory: the first rule for the *Posh Pride* team is “be drastic”. It’s worthy, trust me.

Choose a pair of jeans that highlight your skinny figure without screaming to the world “hey, I’m here, I’m hot and I’m waiting for you”. Add a pair of fancy boots: no bling, no frills, just smooth leather in a moss shade of green. Add the sexy touch of an embroidered corset and the unexpected belted skirt in a plaid texture, in green as well. Wear also matching gloves because you know cowgirls can get easily dirty, and the classic cowboy hat – the only thingthat might be kept from the original mix. Complete the look with a SL classic: not a Valentino’s, okay, but a Kyoot Army’s collar who will add the lace touch that will whisper your sensuality in every available ear.

Hat: Bout Du Monde in brown by (PixelDools)

Hair: Sury in black by [Aden]

Collar: Wilted Wednesday by Kyoot Army

Corset: The Marquise Corset by Casa Del Shai

Gloves: Coal Riding Gloves by Savvy?

Skirt: Check Charm waistcloth in khaki by (Creamshop)

Pants: Dark distressed tweed pant trousers (underpants layer) and Silver metallic embellishments (pants layer) by G.L.A.M.

Boots: Bloom in green by Maitreya

Cayce Newell for *Posh Pride*

*****
HOW I REVIVED THE TUTU

I was trying to focus on the show while our friend Cayden was gossiping, when something just disturbed my lateral field of view… something like a sparkling pink lightning…I immediately turned my gracious face towards this light which was maybe the colored flash of an eccentric journalist’s camera, but what I saw violently froze the blood in my veins and the fake smile on my lips. This was far to be « La vie en rose » !

A weird thing (which I recognised to be a woman) standing on two legs ended by two unthinkable platform shoes was simply attending the show in a sort of huge pink tutu « enhanced » with a non-less pink tight T-shirt… I won’t talk about her ugly blonde haircut, neither about the pills Cayce had to give me so that I recover my mind. I would just say even a newbie would have avoided to disguise herself as a faded ballerina to attend a fashion show. But I’m already too nice, because this lost girl was not even thinking she was disguised : her self-satisfied expression was perfectly showing she was convinced of being in the trend. What an ignorance !

Dear readers, let me tell you something : never hesitate to be the center of attention in an event, and be sure pink is a trendy colour. But you’ll NEVER be forgiven to blunder like this.

First of all, just threw your old ballerina dress in the toilets, especially if it’s a mediocre pink relic of the eighties. You’re just allowed to keep one standard ballet skirt (white, black or cream of course) and to use it for your classical dance’s classes only.Secondly, because Fashion can create beauty even from bad taste, let’s imagine what would be a truly fashionable pink tutu outfit. Start with a long tutu in pink fluo (easy to find if you’re a real sl fashion addict), add some wild texture to bring out a rock’n roll touch to the classical tutu : black leather pants and jacket will be perfect. Then dare wear a pink sequined top to emphasize the pop rock attitude which appears, and end with some stunning accessories like dark jewels, asymetrical gloves, an astonishing skin, almost unwearable flashy boots, and of course punk hair.You’re now ready to shine in a fashion show, in your eventually not so oldfashioned pink tutu …

Hair : Lil Diva in black by Cake

Skin : Dark Skin – Tribal 3 by Minnu (no longer released)

Eyes : Natural Eyes in lilac by Dolce Blackfleg (you can find them in PixelDolls)

Eye Lashes :Thora Lashes by Minnu

Top : Loana Sequined Bodice and Skirtbase in orchid by Last Call

Jacket : Decadence Jacket in black by :::BareRose :::

Tutu : Pizzo3 in pink by Bianca Foulon

Pants : X3D Couture black leather studded heart pocket pants by Digit Darkes

Boots : Pim’s Boots fuscia by Bianca Foulon

Earrings : Fleur Black Pearl Earrings by Paper Couture

Necklace : River Stone Necklace by Paper Couture

Gloves : MAX by Cachet ( from Max outfit)

(If you’re the girl concerned by bad taste and if you read these words, sorry but you should have thought twice before going out this day.)

Vyktor Maertens for *Posh Pride*

WILD MORAL