About men and us…

May 1, 2008

Which band of the eighties used to sing « It’s raining men! Alleluia!”?
I mean, I can tolerate a rain of men because it’s always usefull to wash the sidewalks of the dogs’ carelessness… But I would never thank God for such a shower! I’m not pretending I don’t like men. I love some of them, especially mine. But I’m SL bored to always be the center of macho attitude and silly remarks!
It seems 75% of men in the metaverse imagine being a sl woman is synonymous with being a whore or a sex addict: How many IM when you’re in a store to tell you that you are the eighth wonder of the world?… We all know what they really mean…
Here is a little dictionary to decode some sl men’s thoughts:

“Wow, you’re gorgeous”: if this sentence is not preceded by a greeting and an apology for disturbing you, then you have to understand: “Holly shit! I’d like to fuck you.”

“You illuminated my day” = “Are you available for the night?”

“Could you give me a favour?” = “I need a virtual blowjob”

“I love women with a strong character” = “Majority of women are weak”

“I love the way you’re dressed”: If you’re wearing a dress or an over the knees skirt, it means: “How much?”

“I don’t like lies or people pretending to be what they aren’t” = “Do you mind if we use a webcam?”

“I love your sense of fashion” = “I love good butt and boobs”

“I’m a very sensitive guy” = “I’m a damned f*cking liar!”‘

The day a man literally jumped on me and clung to my leg as if he was a dog, I realized it was even worse than in RL… I made some small experiences. I created a male shape, and I tried it several days… It was easy because Vyktor sounds like a male name as well… Believe me or not, but I had no problem at all! No vulgar words, no indecent proposals, no invitation for cyber sex sessions. Amazing isn’t it?

I remember the first time I went out in SL streets with the first non-newbie clothes I had bought (skirt from the Dress Satin Red by *Redgrave*, top of the White Horse outfit by Paper Couture, and Paper Couture’s stockings), my first “real” pair of shoes (Purple suede Funkies by Maitreya), my first high quality skin (it was the Vanessa skin by the Good Life at this time), my new hair (Lush by Cake), and the definitive shape I had created which were going to lead my virtual life to modelling … I was so proud to eventually be the way I wanted to be in front of every people. But maybe thirty minutes later, in a store, I got my first : “You’re sexy, you know that hun ?”…

Yes ladies, even in SL, it’s not so easy to be a respected woman, to wear skirts without being treated like a stripper… I’d like to propose you a girly game : during the next sl week, we could act like men do : accost a guy or several in the street, in stores, everywhere you want, use explicit words, and copy/paste his/their reactions in this blog, or simply share your experiences… Just to see if they like to be treated like simple objects of attraction…

Next time I’ll put on a male shape, I’ll dress it with a short skirt to see if the rules are the same…

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9 Responses to “About men and us…”

  1. Genna Gray said

    Maybe I dress too ladylike or my profile is too mature…or maybe it’s that I don’t get out that much lol. But I don’t seem to have that problem. I find my avi quite attractive. She’s a model and everything. But I can’t remember the last time I was hit on. In fact, I went to a dance club for 2 hours yesterday and I didn’t get a single IM. /me thinks I need to go grab some shorter skirts and join you out sometime lol. Oh and yes those comments are right on! I did used to get hit on from time to time when I wasn’t so “respectable” looking haha.

  2. Cayce Newell said


    ;-)

  3. Being a male, albeit a swishy (read flamboyantly gay and often femme) one, I can tell you that it -does- happen to us. I have been hit on by men, women, people somewhere in the grey between, furries, goreans, you name it. I’ve even been hit on by a kid. *scowls* It’s the same bad pickup lines no matter where you go or what’s in your pants. Many of the guys hit on me thinking I am a girl, but that doesn’t seem to stop them once they find out I am not. Women…seem to find the gender blurring I do attractive as a whole. I had a female tell me “she wanted my assmeats”. I have also been approached by more naked men with their freenises hanging out than I care to think about. Having a (homicidal) partner has helped a little…but when we go out, we often get hit on together, because he’s a beautiful male as well. Oh, the stories we could tell…
    And men can look very hot in short skirts, depending on the man and the skirt. ;)

  4. Tomoyuki is right – a lot of women complain that men don’t care enough about ourselves to have a good looking/well dressed av, but then when you do? I find it hard to shop or socialise without being accosted. And the girls that do so aren’t shy, and that’s phrasing it politely. And I know I’m hardly the best looking thing out there. One of my female friends has a partner who deals with this constantly, and these women do it whilst she is standing right next to him.

    You are probably thinking after reading this “Wow, isn’t that every man’s dream?” – my point is that the anonymity of the internet emboldens both sexes, Vyktor. And not always in good ways. Your call for women to pick a man at random and treat him as you have been dealt is harsh, and unfair. Nutshell? People can be hors whether they are packing ovaries or testes. Let’s not exacerbate the problem.

  5. Vyktor: That sounds like fun, but I think the majority of guys out there who have an avatar that doesn’t look like he just stepped off of orientation island are either taken (and therefore are unlikely to treat others the way you’re talking about) or women in RL (ditto.)

    Tomoyuki: Betcha a lot of those “women” who hit on you were men.

  6. My take is the permissive anonominity environment that SL ebodies promotes a sort of blunt/boldness without psyche altering repercussions.
    There is a fine line between playful yet respectful flirtation, and blantent disrespect.
    It’s also an art, that many are not skilled in, nor wish to be.
    I am bolder in SL, but when I flirt with an avie (male or female) who’s look/personality I admire and am drawn to, it is my way of complimenting them, and rarely anything more.One has to be very sensitive to the response this procures and immediately change gears if discomfort is sensed.

    To summarize…its mainly about motivation.. and in actuality, I think I prefer it.. it wastes way less of my time to know exactly what level one wishes to engage me on.

  7. Genna, you perfectly show what I wanted to mean when you write “I did used to get hit on from time to time when I wasn’t so “respectable” looking “… It’s not such a serious topic, but it’s so sexist to think a woman not dressed like a nun will compulsorily always be pleased to get tendentious IMs… and saying this I reach your comment Elusyve : “it’s mainly about motivation” and the way this seduction is made. Of course some days, depending on the mood, the availability, the last boring show you’ve attended, the bad new release from your favorite designer, the lag, the gossips, the whatever you want, it can be more or less agreeable to be hit on, to play this old flirting game. But what I wanted to denounce is that too often guys don’t see the limits, and dare to act as if you should be honored to be the object of their desire, and no matter if this don’t please you.
    I’m glad to read your reactions Tomoyuki and Winter… It’s true that I would be tempted to say the same as Maegen:”Betcha a lot of those ‘women’ who hit on you were men”. Because a recent survey said a large part of female avatars hide RL men…
    Anyway, Winter, I think my post was not so “harsh’ and “unfair” as you say : If you already read me before, you should know I don’t take things too seriously. I just try to make some fun with situations I meet, and in the present case, I’ve been ironic enough not to dig up the hatchet for this never ending story about women and men.
    I’m not pretending every men are slide perverts, and 100% of women white angels, I’m not pretending all sl male avatars are rl men, and all sl women are rl ones, I’m not blaming wild male seducers and congratulating the female superstars of “smooth-talk”, I’m not pretending I have a fixed idea about this wide topic.
    It was just a post about my personal experiences with a large majority of SL male avatars.

    Cayce, it won’t help us to feel younger ! <3

  8. And where are you Cayden, when your experience could be useful ?!!! :)) <3

  9. Elizabeth Hallstrom said

    I hate to admit this but the way I meant my partner in SL, Dane Koba (definitely a male) was to send him an IM and say something to the effect, “Hey nice guy avatar”. But it was true, he had a great jacket and scarf and didn’t look like he was trying to be Mel Gibson in Mad Max, Beyond Thunderdome, hahaha.

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